http://www.inspirational-otter.com/index.html

Here is a sample of the many strange and delightful things I found there:

Haiku -
----------------------------
Movie Matinee
by Inspirational Otter

Rows of empty seats
at this movie theater.
They sit right by me.
----------------------------

Luck Ran Out by the Inspirational Otter

Diet Coke on sale,
but I snatched a bad 12-pack.
Better luck next time.


Luck Ran Out.2

Diet Coke on sale!
This can tastes kind of funky
Yet I finish it.


Luck Ran Out .3

Yay! A diet coke.
Darn. I got a funky can,
but I still drink it.
-----------------------------------

I'm enjoying this. I think I'll return.

Both my kids got parts in the school play.

:D

A video my girl made. This is our first try at posting something on youtube, and possible the beginning of her career as an annoying video maker... OH I mean artist!

Last night at work, a 37 year old woman was describing the plot of a television show. She told me that a certain man's character was, "ramping and raging".

Okay.

I might be able to forgive "raging".

But what in the name of grammar and good English does she think "ramping" might be?

http://www.impeachbush.org/site/DocServer/3makeimpeachmentareality.pdf?docID=221



And here's one more. We're people who use our time constructing messages. How many letters in your life have you written that were truly meaningful? Follow the link on this page to find how to contact members of the House Judiciary Committee, and make yourself heard.

http://www.opednews.com/articles/Impeachment-NEEDS-YOU-by-chris-rice-080612-432.html

I have a new trainer. Her name is Kim. And she effing rocks the house.
I got to do everything today. I was treated like a competent adult. And her husband is retired Air Force, so I have a feeling I'll be getting no more personal jabs about that.

He was supposed to work 3 to 7, overlapping my shift by 4 hours. He snuck in early, saw me there but thought he had avoided being seen, and left. Then he called in sick.

He was supposed to work the same 12 hours as me on Friday. He switched with someone to be off that day. Smarter than I thought.

And I did pick the right time to ensure that the person in charge of training is aware that he needs to be taught sterile technique - he may have already infected people, and since our patients occasionally lose legs to infection, she quickly grasped the seriousness of the situation.

I may not always be nice, but I will not be screwed with, and I will not tolerate the kind of carelessness that costs people their health in a place where we are supposed to be working to restore it.

And you guys, I love you. You're the most supportive, bestest people anywhere.

I work hard for my grades.

This history course, which I elected to take online, was particularly challenging. My professor is, I believe, Pakistani. Her grasp of the content and the important points seems low. That notwithstanding, she screwed up the whole thing right from the beginning. It's a 7 week course, but she scheduled 15 weeks of work - some of it questionable. Initially we were supposed to do all of this:

Split into 4 groups
Write 8 of 16 essays each
Compose a critique of 2 students' essays for each essay posted
Complete 15 quizzes
Complete a mid-term and final exam composed of several essay questions each

Ok. So she received atleast 30 emails from the students questioning the length of the course. None of which she answered. 3 weeks later she sent an announcement saying because the class was "now" a 7 week class, we'd have to do 3 quizzes the first week (which had already passed), 2 quizzes and 2 essays each week, no more critiques, no midterm, but should choose 8 of 12 essays to complete.

What?

Several of the tests covered chapters we had not yet read. This was also seen in the essay questions. So I just jumped ahead to compensate.

I followed along. Tried to help other students when she wouldn't respond to the "wtf?" questions. Maintained an average of above 95%. It wasn't easy, but I did. Then she stopped grading... she didn't grade the last 3 weeks worth of essays. Now I see she was waiting for the class to fill out the Student Opinion of Instruction Survey, completed the last week of class.

Then she started grading. Suddenly the grades were much lower. Much lower. One essay she gave me a 10 out of 100. She refused to explain. She hasn't even graded them all yet.

I contacted another student who I know has a brain in her head. She said the same thing happened to her.

So now I have to write to the Dean of History. Ugh.

I haven't taken a math class in 19 years. 19. Years.

I recall having gotten high A's in Algebra, and B's and A's in Geometry despite sleeping through EVERY class except on test day - good old Mr Lockhart only graded on tests. And then apathy kicked in. Juvenile that I was, I allowed external forces to overtake my thoughts and stopped working in school. I started Algebra II, did absolutely no work, slept in class, and dropped it mid-semester.

When I needed math for my previous degrees (earned in the military), I clepped. This, too, was accomplished some time ago.

Fast forward to 2007 when I embarked on the journey toward becoming what can most easily be understood as a biochemist. And so you see, I feel like in this very important area I have lost a step or two. So today began my first math class in so many years. Not being a beginner level course, I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to keep up.

Took a pretest today, and I remembered some things, but not... oh, half maybe. Then we went over the test, and as the professor took each question step-by-step, it came back to me. 3 hours of instruction later, I felt fully up to speed. So this ought to be an easy A, and thank GOD for lowered anxiety. I need the math, for chemistry and physics - and all those neat little things that require such ability.

Anyway, I know this post is a drag... it's just a journal entry, after all.

So few posts out here... I wonder who'll repost this one.

Stolen from a friend and coworker from a myspace posting:

1. If I were a doll, the accessories package with me would be:
the strange combination of a microscope and a horse

2. I have an irrational fear of:
the ocean

3. What type of food do you eat when visiting your grandparents house?
I must order out, since grandma can't cook.

4. What weight were you when you were born?
Not a clue.

5. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Historically I have scraped the person off and left him behind for good. All but once.

6. I find the thought of childbirth:
Lives in my memory.

7. Next door to my house is:
A strange man who keeps pushing us (by us I mean TJ) to build a fence where he wants one. Until he tried to tell ME one day. He won't ask again.

8. My feet are:
Functional and attractive.

9. My preferred brand of jeans is:
I used to love how CKs looked on my backside. I haven't had a real preference in a while, though. Not on the top of my list of things to care about.

10. Know how to cook?
Yes I do.

11. I am annoyed with:
My hectic schedule and unusual hours of sleep.

12. What is the worst way you were dumped?
When I was 15 I was dumped for a 13 year old who put out (which I did not).

13. What child-related smell do you not like?
What a weird question.

14. What sea creature scares you?
All of them.

15. What object have you broken most recently?
Probably a glass.

16. Name one spice girl:
Sporty.

17. What was the last thing to make you cry?
Flower dying on Meerkat Manor - she was bitten by a snake trying to protect her babies.

18. What are the stems on wine glasses for?
Although I am told there is some function related to temperature, I prefer to think it's a handle. Or - to make it taller so it doesn't have a complex.

19. My favorite shoes are:
Nikes.

20. Can you use chopsticks?
Yes, but I haven't in years.

21. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?
FOREST. Unless it's the Pines. Which is both, really.

22. What killer do you find most disturbing?
Hm... they're all pretty disturbing.

23. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Lately I've confided a couple of doozies to Tia at work.

24. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
A certain strange and uncomfortable lady who works the dayshift.

25. Who is your hero?
My ex husband.

26. Where is your sister right now?
Home asleep in Michigan, in a house packed with children.

27. Do you believe in things that last forever?
Things? What are these things? Some things endure. I can't speak to forever. However, if we're talking about love, my love for my children will never fail, will never die.

28. What are you listening to?
Silence.

29. What do you smell like?
Clean skin.

30. Are you looking forward to anything?
My son's eyes when he opens his birthday gift on Thursday.

31. Do you have any bad habits?
Certainly.

32. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
I have been. I enjoyed it.

33. What is one thing you've learned about life?
The only person's behavior I can truly control is my own.

34. Has anyone in the last month told you they like you as more than a friend?
Yes. I have to do something about that soon. People are starting to talk.

35. What are you looking forward to?
You just asked me that. Maybe you should get that checked.

36. How are you today?
Awake at 5:56 am. Alone. Thinking about folding laundry and having some coffee. And a quiet bath. So all in all, stable.

Police and Fire

Sleeping man aroused

SAULT STE. MARIE - City police were called to the Fort Street Bridge area at 5:16 p.m. Friday, where they found a man sleeping on a grassy area near the Edison Sault Power Canal. Police aroused the man, who told officers he was tired. Officers found the man able to walk and encouraged him to head the remaining two blocks home.

No further action was required.

------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Title Phrasing. No explanation required for why that's messed up.

2. Any reason they'd find a man that's too tired to walk two blocks, and NOT think it could be a medical emergency? (note that alcohol is not reported as a factor)

3. If police aroused you in your sleep, would you tell them you were too tired?

Nursery Rhymes we Didn't have as kids...


Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.



********************



MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

********************



JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

********************



SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you Dumb Ass"

********************



HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

********************



HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

********************



GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************



There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.